Written in 2022 while Heidi was going through chemo for cancer in my spine. Deals with issues of mortality.

Lyrics

Distracted by Birds (2022)

In my dream I was running
My feet firmly hitting the ground
These little legs, they were pumping
Not just uselessly hanging around
The amputated limb that still cries out in pain
The complex over-thinker, looking for her brain
The take charge over-doer, giving up the reins
While the rains are pouring down

Everybody who knows me
Is cautiously waiting in line
While I watched these birds coexist
Wondering when I would fly
It’s a complicated battle we never want to lose
We can force ourselves against it, but we don’t get to choose
We build up our defenses and watch them all defuse
They are vapor to me now

Chorus 1:

Will I watch myself fall away?
Looking for the song that will help me stay
The birds fly and I remain
Just looking at the birds
Looking at the birds
Looking at the birds
For one more day

In my dream I was younger
Holding court and flirting about
Little winks and big smiles
Carelessly tossed around
It still lives here inside me, and has nowhere to go
The ancient Prima Donna, with no one left to snow
Reaching out to those around me, caught in the same boat
While the boat is going down

Chorus 2:

Can I still swim? Will I make it back to shore?
Looking for the coast and some solid ground
Will my fins steer me through the water?
I don’t need no solid ground
Just looking for some sand
Just looking for some sand
So I can land